Some men will date, sleep, and spend time with you but have no serious intentions towards you. Some men will date you, sleep with you, spend time with you, and have absolutely no intention of being serious about you.

And it’s cruel, especially when you want more. 

Unfortunately, these men aren’t looking for a relationship; they want easy access to your body.

And the manipulative part is that they will make you believe there is more when there isn’t.

They’ll call you “babe,” act interested, and spend just enough time with you to leave you perplexed about your situation.

However, when it comes to the relationship, all roads lead to sex.

That is all he wants. 

So, how do you know if he really likes you or if you’re just a reliable hookup?

Here’s how to tell.

1. Every time you’re together, it ends with physical intimacy

Physical attraction is significant in a relationship. Physical attraction is important in a relationship.

Yesterday, I cupped my husband’s face and said, “You’re a fine man.”

A decade later, I’m still very attracted to him, and I thank God for that because I can’t imagine marrying someone whose mere presence irritates me. 

So, I’m not saying that couples shouldn’t desire each other physically.

But if every time you see him, it ends with a genital meet and greet, there’s a problem.

That’s a problem, sister. 

Sometimes all you want to do is talk, hang out, and enjoy each other’s company, but you can’t because it leads to the bedroom.

Every date ends with him trying to get you to come to his or your place. 

This is what happens every time you get together!

Even when you suggest non-sexual activities such as going to the movies, trying a new restaurant, visiting a museum, or meeting his friends, he is uninterested or preoccupied.

However, he is always available when your body is on the table.

That should tell you everything, because a man who truly cares about you wants to spend time with you in a variety of ways, not just naked.

So, for this brother, you are not his girlfriend, but rather his hookup.

2. He only reaches out when he wants something physical

The time a man contacts you reveals a lot about his feelings for you, so when does he contact you? The time a man contacts you says a lot about how he feels about you, so let me ask you, when does he reach out to you?

Is it random throughout the day for him to check in, ask how you’re doing, share a funny story, or tell you he’s thinking of you?

Or is it always late at night, with a “wyd” signifying “Can I/you come over?”

A man who texts you only after 10 PM with “you up?” is not a boyfriend; he is treating you as a booty call.

So, if you notice that he disappears for days, sometimes weeks, and then reappears when he’s horny, sis, you’re not in a relationship.

You are on his rotation.

He reaches out when he requires sexual stimulation and disappears when he does not.

3. He knows nothing real about you and does not care to

These days, I hear my husband say things like, “I know my wife; I am not surprised.” These days, I hear my husband say things like, “I know my wife; I’m not surprised.”

We’ve been together long enough to get to know each other well, so we no longer fight over things we used to. 

When a guy is interested in you, he naturally wants to learn more about you. 

So, what does this guy know about you?

Reflect on your dreams, goals, childhood experiences, fears, and passions.

Or does he only know your body and your preferences in bed?

A man who only wants your body has no interest in getting to know you as a person.

He doesn’t ask meaningful questions, doesn’t remember important things you tell him, and doesn’t care about your career, family, or goals.

When you try to talk about something serious or personal, he either ignores you or acts as if you’re being too heavy.

But mention anything sexual, and he becomes fully engaged.

That’s because he isn’t interested in you. He is interested in what you can do for him physically.

Some women date certain men for months only to discover that these men know nothing about them except their favorite positions.

Because he never asked, and when she tried to share, he didn’t listen.

4. He becomes upset when you say no

This is one of the most significant tests of a man’s intentions toward you. This is one of the biggest tests of a man’s intentions towards you. 

How does he react when you are not in the mood for sex or simply want to spend time together without it?

Does he respect your boundaries and continue to enjoy your company?

Or does he become upset, withdraw, make you feel guilty, put pressure on you, and question why you’re “always saying no” despite the fact that you’ve been intimate with him on a regular basis?

Because a man who is only interested in your body does not handle rejection well, saying no implies that you are no longer useful.

And because that is the sole reason he is with you, rejecting it feels like rejecting him.

5. He wants nudes and videos

Let me be very clear: if a man is pressuring you for nude or explicit videos, run for your life. Let me be very clear about this: if a man is pressuring you for nudes or explicit videos, run for your dear life. 

I’ve seen far too many women fall into this trap.

They send intimate photos or videos out of fear that he will lose interest.

When the relationship ends, as it always does with these men, he will have those images and videos to use as leverage.

Suddenly, she is blackmailed or manipulated into staying or doing things she does not want to do because he is holding her content hostage.

“If you leave, I’ll send this to your family.”

“If you don’t do what I ask, I’ll post these online.”

I’ve helped women deal with this exact scenario, and it’s devastating.

Never send or record sexual content with a man you are not committed to.

And, honestly, even in committed relationships/marriages, exercise extreme caution because people change, relationships end, and you never know what someone will do with that content when they’re hurt or angry.

If you’re dealing with a man who is constantly asking for this and making you appear uptight or boring for refusing, he isn’t interested in you.

He’s gathering content, building a portfolio of women he’s dated, so he can capitalize on the power of having access to your most intimate moments.

A man who respects you will never press you for explicit material. Period.

6. He Does Not Include You in His Real Life

Where do you fit into his life? Where do you fit in his life?

Have you met his friends and family? 

Is he inviting you to things that are important to him, or are you completely separate from his real life?

If you’ve been seeing him for months and have never met a single person in his life, and you’re always meeting in private places, it’s because you’re not a part of his world.

You are just someone he sees when he wants to have fun. 

If you’re reading this and recognizing your situation at several points, I need you to be honest with yourself.

This man isn’t your boyfriend. 

And I understand what you’re thinking: “But we have good conversations sometimes, and he’s nice when we’re together.”

Sis, those are just enough to keep you perplexed and interested.

Because if he treated you like trash, you’d leave. So he gives you just enough hope to keep you around while he continues to exploit you.

Instead of focusing on his words, consider his actions.

He won’t wake up one day and realize he should take you seriously, nor will he suddenly start treating you like a girlfriend after months of treating you like a hookup. He won’t wake up one day and realize he should take you seriously or magically start treating you like a girlfriend after months of treating you like a hookup.

He knows exactly what he wants from you, and it isn’t a relationship.

So, you have two options:

Option 1: Recognize that this is only a physical experience. If you’re okay with that, great, but be honest with yourself about what this is.

Option 2: Seek someone who values your entire self, not just your physical appearance. Someone who sees you as a partner, not just a hookup.

You can’t keep sleeping with him and hoping he’ll take you seriously, because he won’t.

And every day you spend with him means you’re not available for someone who will treat you right.